Who It's All About by Tami Cinquemani

My best friend is very loving and nurturing. She is the kind of person who “takes care” of others. Not long ago, her grandfather who lived in Tennessee passed away, and her grandmother, Nellie, moved down to Florida so that my friend and her mother could care for her. As is often the case in older couples who are very much in love and very dependent on each other, it wasn’t long before Nellie joined her husband in death. This was a very difficult time for my friend and her family.

Since it was their desire to be cremated, Grandma and Grandpa soon found a place together in a beautiful urn on the fireplace mantle of their daughter’s home. However, it was always understood that this would be a temporary home as Grandma and Grandpa’s real home was in Tennessee. Therefore, a trip was planned to bring the urn with the ashes up to Tennessee for a memorial service and burial.

Soon the entire family – children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren – piled into their vehicles and headed up to the homestead in Tennessee. Several hours after their trip began, I received a very unexpected call from my friend. “Tami,” she said, “we forgot Grandma and Grandpa!”

Sure enough, in the midst of planning the memorial service, packing for the trip, and consoling each other in their loss, the beautiful urn that held the precious remains was still in Florida safely set on the fireplace mantle.

My friend’s family has a wonderful sense of humor, and my friend and I have often laughed about this experience. Who would spend countless time in preparation, energy and effort to make sure everything was “just right,” only to forget the main reason for the entire event?

I’m afraid I do that quite often. As the Worship Director for the Florida Hospital Church, I spend countless hours in service planning committees, website searches for scripts and videos, meetings with our Minister of Music and Technical Director, reading books on authentic and inspirational worship, and computer time planning each worship event down to the minute. And sometimes it’s very easy to forget who it’s all about.

You may well wonder whatever happened to Grandma and Grandpa. Did they ever make it to their service and find their final resting place? Well, with careful packaging and a lot of bubble-wrap, they took a guaranteed overnight trip and arrived in time. In the process, I learned a valuable lesson in the legality of shipping human remains – but that’s a story for another day.

Tami Cinquemani