The Man in the Mirror by Tami Cinquemani

Unless you live under a rock, you know that the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, died this week. I was surprised to find he was actually older (though not by much) than I am. Jackson had what seemed to be an ageless, perpetually juvenile persona – probably due to a combination of bad plastic surgery and media-induced mystique. I personally thought he was a man with incredible talent, unlimited potential, and a life filled with people who took unfair advantage of him.

There are many words that come to mind when I think of Michael Jackson. Strange, odd, eccentric, different, bizarre, weird, peculiar. But the word most prevalent in my mind is “pathetic”. In the dictionary, I find the definition of “pathetic” to be “causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc.; pitiful; pitiable.”

Yes, I know the stories and accusations as well as I know about the charitable foundations and donations. Believe me, I’m not making a judgment call on his character here. I have no interest in playing judge and jury to his complicated life. All I’m saying is that when I see the life of Michael Jackson, it evokes emotions of sadness and sympathy. This darling little boy with the voice of an angel and dancing skills meriting Fred Astaire’s assessment of him as the “greatest dancer of the century” seemed to never be allowed to be a real person. How sad.

The death of Michael Jackson has touched the entire world, and people are showing an amazing display of grief. I wonder if the level of sadness is elevated by the fact that the man never appeared to know real happiness in his life.

My memories of the King of Pop will continue as I happily clean my house to his hit tunes, dancing from room to room with my rags and furniture polish. My only hope is that my cleaning is not as pathetic as my moon walk.

Tami Cinquemani

Taking & Giving: How to Avoid Being Like the Dead Sea by David Achata

Last weekend, Danny Howell spoke on the same subject at our 3rd Service called Sojourn. Danny spoke to us about his relationship with his father as well as a number of mentors he's had in his life through the years. His point was simple: God blesses us for one reason – so we can be a blessing to others.

He told us about a conversation he had with his son, Daniel. Giving an illustration of what this looks like, Daniel pointed out that there are two seas in Israel. First there is the Sea of Galilee, which takes water and gives water. Then, Daniel added, there is another sea in Israel. But the second sea only takes water into itself; it is called the Dead Sea. Danny concluded that God wants us to be more like the Sea of Galilee than the Dead Sea. He wants us not only to take, but to give as well. As we journey in our spiritual lives with Jesus, here's a way this can happen: Mentor and be Mentored by someone.

Danny spoke with us about the value of reaching forward to be mentored by someone who has walked before us, thereby, taking. But he also gave us some helpful wisdom that, if we want to really make a difference in the world, we will not only take, but give. One way we can do this is to reach back and mentor someone younger, perhaps in the faith, or in age. When we do this, we are passing on the blessing that's been given to us.

Some may say, "But I have nothing to offer anyone else." Well, that may be a clue that you need to seek a mentor to lead you in your spiritual journey or perhaps another area of your life that you would like to grow in. I think too many of us have become used to being the Dead Sea.

Years ago I came to a place where I was not satisfied with my walk with Jesus. I lived in Michigan at the time, and it was winter. My life was beginning to mirror the weather outside – cold, stale and still. In a moment of proactivity, I picked up the phone and called my friend Ron. Ron is in his 50's and possesses wisdom I want, and I told him so. I asked him to mentor me, and that was seven years ago. We still talk weekly. Sometimes we study scripture, and we always pray together. I'll have to say, it's pretty nice to have someone like Ron in my life. But if I just took, I'd be the Dead Sea--this is why I give back. This is why I spend time with other young men and mentor them in various areas of life from time to time.

Someone may be thinking, "But you're a pastor; you have to do that." Not true. Being mentored and mentoring others has been so helpful to me that I would do it even if I weren’t a pastor. I don't think I could be content to just take, take, take. If I lived this way in the physical world, I'd get fat and die really fast. What, then, does this tell us about the spiritual world?

God blesses us so we can be a blessing to others. We need to take nourishment from God, from others, and thereby, grow. But we also need to give nourishment to others to remain healthy. Spiritual health comes from both taking and giving. That's how we avoid being like the Dead Sea

David Achata

What Are Your Expectations? by Andy McDonald

What are our expectations for church? How do we measure our expectations against any realistic vs. unrealistic scale? In communications with church people, I hear recurring themes revealing realistic and unrealistic church expectations.

I hear calm assessments, railing accusations, and whiny allegations. They come in all sizes and often in exact opposites. The church is too judgmental—the church is too accepting. The church isn’t friendly enough—the church wants to know too much about my private life. Church is too conservative—church is too liberal. The church is too stingy—no, it’s too generous and should hold on to more of its resources for a rainy day. It’s too rule bound—it’s too permissive. The church isn’t caring enough; its only interested in money. It’s too interested in getting new members and doesn’t care enough for the ones it has.

Recently I received a free book from one of those “Have it all now because you’re Christian” promoters. The jacket cover begins with these words:

“Do you often dream of living a more rewarding life? Do you aspire to a better job, a stronger marriage, a happier home? Do you wish for more gratifying relationships with your family and friends? Perhaps you simply want to accomplish more and leave a lasting legacy for future generations. . . . How do you break out and experience the full potential that God intended you to have? . . . In this straightforward guide the author gives you a way to improve your life for good and help you experience victory, joy, and satisfaction every day!”

Eugene Peterson has said: “Do we realize how almost exactly the Baal culture of Canaan is reproduced in American church culture? Baal religion is about what makes you feel good. Baal worship is a total immersion in what I can get out of it.”

So, why do some people leave the church? The answer may be hidden in their expectations and the question, “What can I get out of it?” Too often we set ourselves up with expectations that the church is all about me. The church will make me more spiritual—get me closer to God—provide my social network—connect me to the community of believers—make me prosperous—stop my pain—guarantee my victory, joy and satisfaction every day—make me feel good—always understand and treat me fairly—consistently pump me up—all of this and eternity too! So we buy in with unrealistic expectations, and when those expectations are not realized we become disgruntled, angry, hurt. The day Jesus called his first disciples, his instructions landed them a big catch of fish. What a benefit, and there was a huge profit to be made. But instead the story says, “They left everything and followed Jesus.”

We need a new set of expectations about church. Instead of expecting a bunch of stuff about how I will BE treated, maybe we would do well to switch to expect a bunch of stuff about how I will TREAT others. Think of it. The Body of Christ with not even a hidden corner being wrapped up in what it can get but instead each part of the body being all about what it can give. Instead of nurturing wounds of who didn’t call me, I’m listing those I’ll call. Instead of judging another’s failure, I’ll support them to succeed. Instead of listing who didn’t speak to me today, I’ll see to how many I can speak. Instead of complaining about not being visited, I will visit. I’ll model the way I want church to be. I’ll model the way I want the body to behave—because I am part of that body of Christ. And just maybe these more realistic expectations will help influence and insulate us from the mistake of ever leaving the church.

Andy McDonald

Does Kindness Still Count? by Tami Cinquemani

In the early Nineties, Unitarian minister Robert Fulghum wrote a little book entitled All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. In it, Fulghum offers his credo for life which originated in his early school years. His list includes: Share everything, play fair, don’t hit people, say you’re sorry when you hurt someone, flush, and (my favorite) warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. If you want to view the whole list, click here.

I like Mr. Fulghum’s thinking. Though it’s not stated in so many words, I see one theme that could be drawn from his list: Kindness. Thinking of others. Putting someone else first. Whatever happened to kindness? It saddens me to say that I just don’t see it much anymore.

Case in point – last week I was headed to the post office. It had just begun to storm, and a flash of lightning had hit the traffic signals on a busy corner of SR 436. The lights weren’t out, but they were all flashing red. Now, from what I recall from Driver’s Education in my sophomore year of high school, a flashing red light is treated like a Stop sign - “Stop, look both ways, and proceed.” It’s a good plan. If a traffic signal is taken out, everyone is put on the honor system of taking turns. This is not what occurred on 436 last week. No one was stopping. Whatever lane happened to be in transit when the signal was hit continued on their merry way. When a break in traffic occurred, another segment of traffic would begin – again, not stopping until a break occurred. I eventually managed to get to the post office, and on my return home a police officer had arrived to bring some sense of order to the flow of traffic. How sad. I guess everyone driving that day presumed their plans, their time schedule, their to-do list was more important than everyone else’s.

As Christians, we are called to behave better than this. Unfortunately, the world isn’t seeing a drastic difference in the behavior of those professing Christ as opposed to those who don’t. Ephesians 4:32 states, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” It’s the good old Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. That’s something they teach in kindergarten as well.

Tami Cinquemani

Where do YOUR Friends Live? by Jeff Cinquemani

Call me old fashioned (which is a phrase I'm using more and more these days), but the use of blogs doesn't seem to be something I've gotten excited about yet. Even when it comes to finding information, I still want to hear a voice with the comment. Better yet, I would rather discuss face to face.

I was recently waiting at the Geek counter at Best Buy for a warranty job when a young girl came up to have her laptop looked at. When she placed it on the counter, I read the sticker that she had placed on it. It read, "Don't take my computer - all my friends live in here". As I thought about that, and yes, I know it's just a sticker, but do we really want to know those who we blog with? Are they really our friends, or are we content to call them "friends" as long as they stay in our computer?

Now don't get me wrong. I know blogging is not a new thing, and if the technology would have been there, it’s just possible we would be reading the 1st and 2nd blogs to the Corinthians or Luther's 95 blogs. Today there is no doubt that blogging serves a great purpose, but I wonder if it, like all mediums, can be a double-edged sword. On one hand we have the privilege of sharing our thoughts and feelings instantly with hundreds of people, while on the other hand I fear it may be a bit of a mask for some, keeping us from truly connecting.

Like I said, I may be old fashioned, but I do want to make sure my friends have more of a life than the belly of my computer.

Jeff Cinquemani