Martin Guitars, Nashville, and Marriage

Not Leaving Fantasy to Chance by Tami Cinquemani

I have three Fantasy Football teams this year, and my first team’s draft was yesterday.  It is also my most challenging league because it’s an IDP league.  Those reading this who understand what that means are groaning.  If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it means that, along with individual offensive players and a team defense, you also draft and play Individual Defensive Players (IDP).  In this case, it means that I manage a 20-member team each week for this league – about twice the amount of players on each of my other leagues.

I’ve never been able to participate in the live draft for this league, and so I have left my team to chance, and the computer has automatically chosen for me.  It’s always been fun to play, but quite honestly, I knew I could do better.  During the season I’ve been able to manipulate things a bit so I actually win a game or two, but I’ve never had a hope of making it to the finals.  I have managed a mediocre team in a tough league.  In other words, I got out of my team about the same kind of effort that I put into it.

I was determined things would be different this year.  I had every intention of being available for the live draft and hand-picking a stellar team.  However, knowing that there is always a possibility that I could miss the draft, I did my homework.  Not only did I research the players, I researched strategies for drafting – specifically in an IDP league.  I made my list of the top 50 players I wanted on my team, and I took the time to create a pre-draft queue.

As it turned out, the live draft came and went before I was able to get to my computer.  I missed it again this year, but my expectations were high.  I had acted on my desire to take this seriously.  I had put the effort in.  I was intentional in my preparation.  And . . . I have a really killer team!  I still had some tweaking to do, but not the complete overhaul I faced in years past.  I am so excited!!

Ecclesiastes 9: 10 says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might,” and Colossians 3: 23 states, “Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart.”  I think God has created us for something greater than mediocrity.  It’s pretty clear to me that I’m not satisfied with it in my Fantasy Football teams, so why do I so often settle for it in the things in my life that really matter?

How many times do I put all the work needed into my relationships, my health, or my spiritual maturity?  Sometimes when I think about the energy necessary or the intentional effort required, it seems so much more appealing to engage the auto pilot and leave things to chance – to go with the automatic draft and think I can get by with a mediocre team in a tough league.

We were created for so much more.  In John 10:10 Christ tells us, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”  Other translations of this verse use words like “satisfying,” “rich,” “fullness,” “to the full, till it overflows,” “more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” Nothing mediocre there.  

Relationships take effort.  A healthy life takes sacrifice.  Spiritual maturity takes intentionality.  If I want life that’s “full till it overflows,” I can’t leave it to chance.

Tami Cinquemani

The Real Threat by Chad Hess

Marriages are in trouble in this country.  The divorce rate is around 50%.  In addition, there are a large number of couples whose marriage is broken and bears no resemblance to what they think marriage should be, but they choose not to divorce.  It is obvious that there is a problem, and there are many ideas as to why.  What is the biggest threat to marriage?  Is it the "ease" of divorce (often said by those who have never experienced divorce)?  Is it gay marriage?  Facebook?  Texting?  Online dating?  Separate bank accounts?  The proliferation of women working outside the home?

In the course of my schooling for marriage and family therapy, I've heard many stories of failed marriages.  In those stories, any number of these reasons may be mentioned, but they are never the real issue.  The greatest threat to our marriage is ourselves.  Whatever the symptom, whatever the outside influences, the core of the issue lies in one or both of the people in the marriage (most often it's both). 

A marriage doesn't end because one person was browsing an online dating site and "found their soul mate."  The marriage ended because this person was unhappy and insecure in their marriage.  And most likely that unhappiness and insecurity was because of conflict and problems in the marriage that were not dealt with.  We are really bad at dealing with conflict in a constructive way.  It's easier to attack or retreat.  Both of these methods eat away at the fabric of the relationship.  You can't repair the relationship without dealing with the problem, so instead we retreat.  We retreat into our work, or Facebook, or a bottle, or whatever.  And when the marriage fails, we say the other person was a workaholic or an alcoholic or had an affair.  But these external things are not the problem.  The real problem is us.  We're not willing to deal with our problems because doing so requires an uncomfortable examination of ourselves and our issues.  So we blame something else.

In Matthew 15, Jesus says something similar.  The Pharisees were complaining about the disciples not washing their hands when they ate.  Jesus said it's not what goes into a person that defiles them (i.e., things from outside), it's the things that come out from a person that defiles them.  "For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.  These are what defile a person" (Matthew 15:19-20).  It's easier to blame something outside of ourselves, but that's not the real issue.  Take a hard and uncomfortable look at yourself.  Pray for God's guidance.  How are you contributing to the problem?  Then talk about it with your spouse or with a counselor.  These conversations will begin to rebuild the intimacy and move your marriage towards the blessing God intended it to be.

Chad Hess