WANTED by Andy McDonald

Did they do it just to be “WANTED”?

Their face no one desired, no one invited , no one engaged.

But now they are wanted.

The words that frame their face on the Post Office wall describe them and remind all

they are “WANTED.”

Would they have done their dastardly deeds if

prior to those moments in time they had felt wanted?

Was theirs a feeling of

not needed

not useful

not attractive

not noticed

not visible?

WANTED-- to be desired, sought after, hunted, fancied, craved, coveted, yearned for, liked.

If there was some way to go back and have them feel wanted before they did whatever it was that made them “WANTED” would everything have been different?

Andy McDonald

We Need to Talk by Chad Hess

When I first started dating the woman who is now my wife, we were 1200 miles apart. During that first seven and a half months, we exchanged many cards, emails, IMs, etc. We also talked on the phone every night and visited each other as often as possible. The letters we exchanged are a treasured part of our relationship, and I loved to read them over and over. But I would have never dreamed of just reading an old letter, saying I had spent my time with Susan, and gone straight to bed. The letters were wonderful, but they are no substitute for an actual conversation with her. And yet, so many times in my relationship with God, I settle for reading one of his letters (the Bible) and leave the conversation on hold.

In the book The Sacred Romance (p. 160), Brent Curtis and John Eldredge share a dialogue between an engaged couple. It’s disturbing how similar it is to the approach so many of us take with our relationship with God.

She: I'm so looking forward to our wedding day. I do love you so much. I really wish I could see more of you. There's so much about you I want to know better.

He: Yes, dear, I know. I'm going to send you a book that describes more about my life. I'm sure you'll get a lot out of it.

She: I'll be glad to read it. But I just want to hold your hand. [She continues somewhat mischievously.] I just want to kiss you.

He: I'm sure you do, beloved. Let me send you a tape describing the role of physical affection at different stages of courtship. You'll find it worthwhile, I'm sure.

She: (Somewhat disappointed) That's wonderful, darling. It's just that I so look forward to our wedding day. I want to be with you so badly. I think of us being, you know, "together" day and night.

He: Yes, intimacy is important. I'd like to send you to a weekend seminar that really should be quite helpful.

The Bible, religious books, sermons, weekend retreats, or anything else can be very helpful, but they are not a substitute for actually talking with God. It is so easy for me to confuse knowing about God with knowing God. But it is the difference between a vibrant, intimate relationship with God, and a research report for a class. I know it requires much more of an investment, but I want the relationship.

Chad Hess

Tradition by John Monday

Tonight when my daughter,Taylor, went to bed she kissed each of my ears seven times. I then kissed each of her ears seven times. The same happened last night and will happen again tomorrow. When she was six it was six kisses each night and five kisses when she was five. This is a special way that my daughter and I celebrate our relationship. I’d be willing to bet that Taylor doesn’t even remember why, but I do.

I have a relatively minor case of tinnitus (ringing of the ears), and one evening after I had been complaining, Taylor asked if she could kiss my ears. Every five year old knows that loving kisses bring healing. Since that night three years ago we’ve shared that special tradition nearly every night.

My ears still ring, and Taylor has forgotten the original purpose of our tradition, but it has become a perpetual expression of our love for each other. I love our tradition and dread the day that it ends, but imagine how absurd it would be for me to tell you that seven kisses per ear per night is THE correct way for a parent and child to express their love.

What if I imposed my tradition on you and declared that any other expression of love was an inferior expression of love and unacceptable. What if we celebrated our special tradition for so long, so faithfully, so religiously that we actually began to think that our expression of love is more than just an expression but is, in fact, love itself.

You would, of course, think that I was insane – and you’d be right – but it’s a real danger we face everyday. Much of the stress we endure is caused by tradition becoming religion. We too often demand that your expression of love for God must sound like, look like, and feel like my expression of love for God. Sometimes we even dare to say that our own expressions are love and other expressions are abominations.

Taylor’s kisses have never and will never heal my ears, but her love is a balm. She is a creative and expressive child full of love for her Dad. She finds new ways to express her love everyday, and one day the ear kisses will stop. I don’t look forward to that day, but if the love continues, then the tradition can pass.

John Monday

Why People Are Afraid to Come to Jesus (and the Church) by David Achata

This year I’ve been examining the claims of the Gospel with my High School students on Wednesdays (we have a podcast now!) and my College students on Thursdays. It’s been a process that has taught me one thing about people: they are scared out of their minds about committing to Jesus Christ.

What I’m about to say is very important. The Florida Hospital Church has defined its mission as “Loving people into a lifelong friendship with God”, and we ought to understand what we’re getting into.

Imagine this: You’re walking down the street one day and a man approaches you and says, “My, you have an attractive face.” You respond by saying, “Thank you,” to which he replies, “I want it.”

You’re next thought is—“What! This guy is crazy!” You’re thinking this because, if you give him your face, you will not have one (and you will look really odd without one). You are identified by your face. When your face is gone, you have nothing by which to be recognized.

This is why coming to Jesus is scary. When we identify ourselves with our “face” (i.e., good works or evil works, superiority or inferiority, religion or irreligion), “it” becomes our identity. Jesus is the one saying, “I want your face.” He says this because he wants to give you a new one. He can say this because he knows that, apart from Him, we identify ourselves with sin.

In Tim Keller’s book, The Reason for God, he says, “We are all living for something and we are controlled by that, the true lord of our lives. If it is not God, it will endlessly oppress us.” Michael Card says in his book A Better Freedom that “the world seduces us with a slavery it calls ‘freedom.’”

Here’s what this all means: as we are seeking to Love people into a lifelong friendship with God, we ought to examine what we identify ourselves with. When people see you, would they sense they were being invited into a community of people who have received wonderful new identities in Christ or just another reason to be scared?

David Achata

Carrying a Grudge by Tami Cinquemani

When I was in high school I dated a guy who stole from me, lied to me, and completely disrespected me. He was my parent’s greatest nightmare. He was the catalyst for constant tension in my home and the reason for many tears on my pillow. Though this young man caused a great deal of pain in my life, I can honestly say that I have no ill feelings toward him. We were teenagers. As an adult I can look back at memories of a young man who had no father to teach him how men are supposed to treat women. I can imagine a scared and angry young man who wanted others to feel as scared and angry as he did. I realize that harboring a grudge can be paralyzing, and forgiveness can be freeing.

I ran into someone recently that was very verbal about a grudge they had been carrying for many years. No, it wasn’t against an old high school beau. It was against a church – a church they felt had “done them wrong.” This individual went into great detail of exactly what had happened and then proceeded to malign the beliefs of the denomination and the character of the people. Though the event that caused such great consternation occurred years earlier, it was as if the “wound” had been received that very day.

It is natural that our past contributes to who we are today, but we have a choice of what we do with all of life experiences – be they good or bad. Just as we benefit from the unconditional love of a parent or the affirming words of a mentor, we can learn from those whose intent is not so thoughtful. Learn to be patient from those who were impatient with you. Learn to be gracious from those who were unkind. Learn the importance of teaching your children about healthy dating relationships from those who were never given those tools.

Chances are the person or church you are obsessing about has moved on. Maybe they realize what they did was wrong . . . maybe not. But it is destructive and harmful to find your identity in what you perceive people have “done to you.” Instead of allowing past experiences to define you, finding a way to forgive is one of the first steps toward healing your life. Paul’s words to the Philippians is wise counsel for us today, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:13-14

Christ has called each one of us to a higher purpose. But it’s entirely possible we won’t ever understand or discover what it is if we remain paralyzed in the past. Though it may have brought some kind of comfort for a long time, it’s time to set down the “baggage” and realize the work God has for you can’t be done if you’re constantly dragging it along. I think what Paul is saying is, “It’s time to pick up the pieces . . . reframe your story . . . forgive . . . and allow a healing God to reveal the purpose He has for you.”

Note: Please understand that my words are not directed to someone who has been involved in an illegal act. If that is the case, though I do believe that pursuing forgiveness and not allowing the experience to define you are essential to healing, I also believe that justice should absolutely be found, and professional counseling should be pursued.

Tami Cinquemani