The List by Kim Johnson

During my childhood years my parents always required us kids to make a list of what we wanted for Christmas. It had to be comprehensive and specific. One year, at age 8 or 9, I rebelled and said, “I’m sick of making lists. You won’t be getting any list from me!” They implored but I remained firm.

Christmas morning I opened my gifts with the usual gusto, but there was nothing I liked. After shoving the final undesirable gift aside in disgust, I stood up and told my parents in no uncertain terms that this had been the worst Christmas I ever had, then stomped angrily back upstairs to my room.

For years afterward I felt occasional twinges of guilt over that unfair outburst. My parents had sacrificed to put those gifts under the tree and done their best at guessing what I might enjoy.

Much later, in my late twenties, as another Christmas approached and my wife and I searched for gifts for our own child, my mind drifted back to that long ago incident. I felt the time had come to take care of what I considered to be unfinished business in my loving relationship with my parents. It was a mar that needed to be mended.

I composed a lengthy poem recounting the “no list Christmas.” It ended with a long-overdue apology and an expression of appreciation for all of their countless acts of generosity. I typed it on special paper and placed it in an elegant frame.

I then sent it to my parents for Christmas wrapped in silver paper with a large white bow. I phoned the afternoon of Christmas day eager to hear their response. My mother answered the phone and said, “Well, this is all very nice Kim. But, frankly, your father and I don’t remember that happening at all.”

I was initially surprised. And then I thought how their reaction captured the spirit of Christmas so perfectly. The season is indeed all about grace, new beginnings, and memory-erasing forgiveness.

Kim Johnson
Director of Resource Development at the Florida Conference of Seventh-day Adventists
FHC Member