Why Can't We Be Friends? by Andy McDonald

It’s a great question that demands consideration in our shrinking world today:

Why can't we be friends?
. . . Christians & Muslims
. . . Ukrainians & Russians
. . . White Supremacists & NAACP Members
. . . Republicans & Democrats
. . . Little Guy & Big Business
. . . Atheists, Agnostics & Believers

The list goes on and on ad infinitum. Maybe the idea of some more civil time in human history is only an illusion, but even if it is, shouldn't we work toward a more friendly world?  I'm not sure how to make it happen, but I do know that open debate and opposing dialogue bring interest to the table of life, and when engaged civilly, enrich all parties.

Unfortunately, it seems we've all determined to speak "our truth" into the conversation as if an infallible "word from God" rather than "our understanding" of truth. It is like we regularly act as if our understanding of truth trumps all other understanding.

When teaching couples to resolve conflict, I talk about moving from the point of conflict, through the "tunnel of chaos," to a point of resolution. Occasionally, even for the most compatible couple, the only resolution is to agree to disagree on that point of contention. When we speak the truth in love, resolution is possible. If we only speak harsh, blatant, cold truth, resolution is unlikely. Conversely, to only speak lovingly but never get to the  truth leaves the conflict hanging unresolved.

I'm irritated by unresolved conflicts—by any reaction to politics, religion, business, or just life that blocks friendship or denies the possibility of being friends.

Jesus said the world would be able to recognize his followers by the love they have for others. I'm thinking that today fear, suspicion, and prophecy may combine to make too many of us into little anti-Christs who fail at the very foundation of our faith—loving God with all our heart, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbor (everybody on the planet) as ourselves. These neighbors we are to so love would include Popes and Imams and Rabbis and Pastors and, of course, all those who aren't sure what they believe, or who may even be anti-God.

If Jesus—perfect, holy, eternal Jesus—can no longer call us servants but friends, if he is known as Friend of sinners, it seems there's no reason that his followers can't be friends with the whole human family—those who agree with us, and everyone who sees it differently.

Andy McDonald