Saturday, June 14, 2014

Parent or Paycheck

I heard a really great interview on NPR about fathers who are breaking down stereotypes of men who are not involved in their children's life.  There is the old stereotype that fathers are not very involved, particularly when they are not married.  Instead, more and more men want to be "parents and not just paychecks."  It should not be unusual to see a dad getting the kids ready or watching the kids while mom goes out with friends.

For me, this comes down to the ever-familiar work/life balancing act.  Most Christians would agree that our top three priorities (in order) are God, family, and then work.  But making that a reality can be much more challenging.  Working to earn money to feed your family typically requires time away from them.  Being involved in ministry can take time away from your family.  When your job is working in a church, those lines can get blurred even more.  Balance and boundaries are essential, and they will look different for each person.

I may be exhausted when I get home from work, but a cheerful greeting and hug from my boys gives me a boost.  I know I only have a couple of hours until they go to bed, so I try to have meaningful time with them while I can.  It may be a rare occasion when I sit with my family in church; but once we leave church, my focus is on them.

I don't write this to "toot my own horn."  I am not perfect, nor do I believe that wanting to be involved in my kids' life makes me an extraordinary father.  That is the job of a father.  God entrusted them to me and asks me to care for them.  Loving them has taught me more about my Heavenly Father and the love he has for me.  With His help, I pray that I can love and parent my children into a lifelong friendship with their Heavenly Father.

Chad Hess


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