What Are Your Expectations? by Andy McDonald

What are our expectations for church? How do we measure our expectations against any realistic vs. unrealistic scale? In communications with church people, I hear recurring themes revealing realistic and unrealistic church expectations.

I hear calm assessments, railing accusations, and whiny allegations. They come in all sizes and often in exact opposites. The church is too judgmental—the church is too accepting. The church isn’t friendly enough—the church wants to know too much about my private life. Church is too conservative—church is too liberal. The church is too stingy—no, it’s too generous and should hold on to more of its resources for a rainy day. It’s too rule bound—it’s too permissive. The church isn’t caring enough; its only interested in money. It’s too interested in getting new members and doesn’t care enough for the ones it has.

Recently I received a free book from one of those “Have it all now because you’re Christian” promoters. The jacket cover begins with these words:

“Do you often dream of living a more rewarding life? Do you aspire to a better job, a stronger marriage, a happier home? Do you wish for more gratifying relationships with your family and friends? Perhaps you simply want to accomplish more and leave a lasting legacy for future generations. . . . How do you break out and experience the full potential that God intended you to have? . . . In this straightforward guide the author gives you a way to improve your life for good and help you experience victory, joy, and satisfaction every day!”

Eugene Peterson has said: “Do we realize how almost exactly the Baal culture of Canaan is reproduced in American church culture? Baal religion is about what makes you feel good. Baal worship is a total immersion in what I can get out of it.”

So, why do some people leave the church? The answer may be hidden in their expectations and the question, “What can I get out of it?” Too often we set ourselves up with expectations that the church is all about me. The church will make me more spiritual—get me closer to God—provide my social network—connect me to the community of believers—make me prosperous—stop my pain—guarantee my victory, joy and satisfaction every day—make me feel good—always understand and treat me fairly—consistently pump me up—all of this and eternity too! So we buy in with unrealistic expectations, and when those expectations are not realized we become disgruntled, angry, hurt. The day Jesus called his first disciples, his instructions landed them a big catch of fish. What a benefit, and there was a huge profit to be made. But instead the story says, “They left everything and followed Jesus.”

We need a new set of expectations about church. Instead of expecting a bunch of stuff about how I will BE treated, maybe we would do well to switch to expect a bunch of stuff about how I will TREAT others. Think of it. The Body of Christ with not even a hidden corner being wrapped up in what it can get but instead each part of the body being all about what it can give. Instead of nurturing wounds of who didn’t call me, I’m listing those I’ll call. Instead of judging another’s failure, I’ll support them to succeed. Instead of listing who didn’t speak to me today, I’ll see to how many I can speak. Instead of complaining about not being visited, I will visit. I’ll model the way I want church to be. I’ll model the way I want the body to behave—because I am part of that body of Christ. And just maybe these more realistic expectations will help influence and insulate us from the mistake of ever leaving the church.

Andy McDonald