We Need to Talk by Chad Hess

When I first started dating the woman who is now my wife, we were 1200 miles apart. During that first seven and a half months, we exchanged many cards, emails, IMs, etc. We also talked on the phone every night and visited each other as often as possible. The letters we exchanged are a treasured part of our relationship, and I loved to read them over and over. But I would have never dreamed of just reading an old letter, saying I had spent my time with Susan, and gone straight to bed. The letters were wonderful, but they are no substitute for an actual conversation with her. And yet, so many times in my relationship with God, I settle for reading one of his letters (the Bible) and leave the conversation on hold.

In the book The Sacred Romance (p. 160), Brent Curtis and John Eldredge share a dialogue between an engaged couple. It’s disturbing how similar it is to the approach so many of us take with our relationship with God.

She: I'm so looking forward to our wedding day. I do love you so much. I really wish I could see more of you. There's so much about you I want to know better.

He: Yes, dear, I know. I'm going to send you a book that describes more about my life. I'm sure you'll get a lot out of it.

She: I'll be glad to read it. But I just want to hold your hand. [She continues somewhat mischievously.] I just want to kiss you.

He: I'm sure you do, beloved. Let me send you a tape describing the role of physical affection at different stages of courtship. You'll find it worthwhile, I'm sure.

She: (Somewhat disappointed) That's wonderful, darling. It's just that I so look forward to our wedding day. I want to be with you so badly. I think of us being, you know, "together" day and night.

He: Yes, intimacy is important. I'd like to send you to a weekend seminar that really should be quite helpful.

The Bible, religious books, sermons, weekend retreats, or anything else can be very helpful, but they are not a substitute for actually talking with God. It is so easy for me to confuse knowing about God with knowing God. But it is the difference between a vibrant, intimate relationship with God, and a research report for a class. I know it requires much more of an investment, but I want the relationship.

Chad Hess