I have some friends that are atheist, some that are
agnostic, and some that just aren't very religious at all – not nearly enough,
but a few. I wonder sometimes, what is the faith I want to share with them? And
not just them – what is the faith I want to pass along to my children?
Do I want to have a really sound argument that I can present to my friends or to my kids so that they’ll say, “Yeah, that sounds good; I’ll believe that?” There seems to be an inherent danger in that. As soon as someone smarter or someone who can argue an opposite position better comes along, then I lose. So what is the faith I want to pass along?
Do I want to get together with my friends that don’t believe or that believe differently than I do and argue with them? Try to berate them? Try to beat them? Do I want to try to win a fight? Or is it something different?
Do I want to insulate my children from a world of different ideas and present to them only the ideas that I believe are right, the ideas that I believe should exist? If I do, then what will happen when they get exposed to a bigger world that contains other ideas? Ideas that are thoroughly thought out, deeply held, and extremely convincing? What is the faith that I want to share, that I want to pass along?
As I think about my children, I think that the faith I want to pass along is a faith that’s lived out in a life. When my kids are grown, the time will come when they question things for themselves, wonder if the things they’ve been taught all their lives are true, and hear competing ideas. They may say, “This sounds right; this sounds real.” The faith that I want to have shared with them is a faith that has them coming back and saying, “Dad, you’ve loved me all my life, and I love you. I respect you, and I honor you as you’ve respected and honored me. Tell me what you think.” Earning the right to tell someone what you believe when they ask the question, “What do you think?” is so much more powerful than spending years telling people what you think when they really don’t care.
So what is the faith that I want to pass along? I want to pass along a faith that loves. I want to pass along a faith that shows my kids that I desperately want to spend time with them, that I enjoy spending time with them, that I honor them, and that I respect them. I want to pass along a faith that sits on the beach and revels in the relationship of a father and his daughter.
To my friends I want to pass along a faith that says, “When you send me an invitation to a party, there is nothing I’d rather do than go and spend time with you.” I want to be present with them. I want to be in community with them. I want to discuss ideas with them, not as an argument, but as an open forum filled with interest and fascination. I want to learn from them as much or more than teach them. I want to pass along a faith that they may not recognize as a faith, but merely as a friendship.
I want to share a faith that is not a life-long goal to change them. Not an ulterior motive to convince them, or alter them, or save them. I want to share a faith that desires to spend time with them because they are truly and deeply loved. In the sharing of that faith, I want to be in a position that if, or when, my friend or my child looks at my home, my marriage, my life, and says, “There’s something different. Why?” – and then they come and ask, “What do you think? Why do want to spend your life this way?” – I can say with honesty and integrity, in truth and love, “Because there’s a heart in me that’s not my own.” In that way I want to share a faith that participates with God as he enlarges the circle of eternity with that friend, with that child, and in so doing enable the opportunity to enter community, and sit on the beach, and talk about things that fascinate us, and revel in relationship forever.
Do I want to have a really sound argument that I can present to my friends or to my kids so that they’ll say, “Yeah, that sounds good; I’ll believe that?” There seems to be an inherent danger in that. As soon as someone smarter or someone who can argue an opposite position better comes along, then I lose. So what is the faith I want to pass along?
Do I want to get together with my friends that don’t believe or that believe differently than I do and argue with them? Try to berate them? Try to beat them? Do I want to try to win a fight? Or is it something different?
Do I want to insulate my children from a world of different ideas and present to them only the ideas that I believe are right, the ideas that I believe should exist? If I do, then what will happen when they get exposed to a bigger world that contains other ideas? Ideas that are thoroughly thought out, deeply held, and extremely convincing? What is the faith that I want to share, that I want to pass along?
As I think about my children, I think that the faith I want to pass along is a faith that’s lived out in a life. When my kids are grown, the time will come when they question things for themselves, wonder if the things they’ve been taught all their lives are true, and hear competing ideas. They may say, “This sounds right; this sounds real.” The faith that I want to have shared with them is a faith that has them coming back and saying, “Dad, you’ve loved me all my life, and I love you. I respect you, and I honor you as you’ve respected and honored me. Tell me what you think.” Earning the right to tell someone what you believe when they ask the question, “What do you think?” is so much more powerful than spending years telling people what you think when they really don’t care.
So what is the faith that I want to pass along? I want to pass along a faith that loves. I want to pass along a faith that shows my kids that I desperately want to spend time with them, that I enjoy spending time with them, that I honor them, and that I respect them. I want to pass along a faith that sits on the beach and revels in the relationship of a father and his daughter.
To my friends I want to pass along a faith that says, “When you send me an invitation to a party, there is nothing I’d rather do than go and spend time with you.” I want to be present with them. I want to be in community with them. I want to discuss ideas with them, not as an argument, but as an open forum filled with interest and fascination. I want to learn from them as much or more than teach them. I want to pass along a faith that they may not recognize as a faith, but merely as a friendship.
I want to share a faith that is not a life-long goal to change them. Not an ulterior motive to convince them, or alter them, or save them. I want to share a faith that desires to spend time with them because they are truly and deeply loved. In the sharing of that faith, I want to be in a position that if, or when, my friend or my child looks at my home, my marriage, my life, and says, “There’s something different. Why?” – and then they come and ask, “What do you think? Why do want to spend your life this way?” – I can say with honesty and integrity, in truth and love, “Because there’s a heart in me that’s not my own.” In that way I want to share a faith that participates with God as he enlarges the circle of eternity with that friend, with that child, and in so doing enable the opportunity to enter community, and sit on the beach, and talk about things that fascinate us, and revel in relationship forever.
John Monday
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