This has been a hard week.
Watching helplessly as tragedy and sadness fall on those around you is
frustrating and difficult. The events in
Boston, Central Texas, and China and the death of a church member leave so many questions unanswered.
What was in the mind(s) of the individual(s) who made a
choice and took the steps to cause injury and death in what should have been a
celebration of endurance and commitment in Boston? Where is the sense or the purpose in such an
act?
And why would the wife of a devoted husband and mother of a young
family take her last breath after fighting for years against a disease that
refused to allow her the joy and satisfaction of raising her three small
children to adulthood? Where is the
sense or the purpose in such a loss?
I read comments on news reports from Boston thanking God for
his protection, care, or providence in keeping loved ones safe. And I wonder if, in making these remarks,
people even consider that, if it was God’s choice, God’s decision, God’s plan
that THEIR loved one was saved, wouldn’t it also be true that it was God’s
choice, decision, and plan that others suffered devastating loss?
How do I, as a Christian, navigate this dichotomy? For me
personally, I have come to the conclusion that sometimes there are no
answers. We may want to see things as
part of some great plan, but sometimes there’s just chaos. It is in those times that I need to take
inventory of the things of which I am sure.
I am sure a God of unsurpassed power and limitless perfection
created all things. I am sure sin,
suffering, and death were not God’s intention.
I am sure that God has been misunderstood and misrepresented throughout
the ages, and that is why Jesus, who is fully God, became a man so we could
finally see God clearly represented. I
am sure Jesus shows me a God of unconditional love, unreserved acceptance, and
absolute grace. I am sure that, because
of Jesus, one day every person who longs to spend eternity with this God will
have their heart’s desire. Finally, I am
extremely sure that I am not the intellectual, physical, or spiritual
equivalent of God and, therefore, cannot fully comprehend all things. However, I do understand that life in this
world is not the way it was meant to be and is not the way it will always be,
but this is the way things are right now.
Sometimes
it feels like I'm watching from the outside.
Sometimes
it feels like I'm breathing, but am I alive?
I
won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find.
So
when the walls come falling down on me,
And
when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea,
I
have this blessed assurance holding me.
All
I know is I'm not home yet;
This
is not where I belong.
Take
this world and give me Jesus.
This
is not where I belong.*
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the
LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope
and a future.”
I believe these words from Jeremiah 29:11 are God’s plan –
and His promise. I believe that God
mourns with us because what He created as perfection and beauty has been taken
over by heartbreak and ugliness. I
believe that Jesus is my brother, my friend, my Savior, and my God. I believe that my faith right now is like
“looking through a glass darkly,” but some day it will all be made clear. I realize some may see this as blind faith, a
Pollyanna worldview, and naïve ignorance.
I only hope and pray that my time on this broken planet will prove just
the opposite – that my faith is bold, my worldview is hopeful, and my reason is
born from a solid relationship with a holy and merciful God. So I will live in
this world, and I will embrace those who walk it with me and the journey set
before me, but I know we were all created for so much more.
Take this world and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong.
Tami Cinquemani
Beautifully written.
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